Wow, I never thought I would ever say this... But I think I got thrown off my little boat! I was sailing across the ocean, everything seemed to be fine, and suddenly - there I went. Down. Fast.
It happened so fast that I didn't really process it until 24 hrs. later.
So what happened, right? You might be saying, "this girl needs to get to the point!" You're right. And that's precisely the thing: It was one of those things where there was a chain of events that got started by this one thing... and everything else followed... But it all made sense. It was as if there was a massive, condensed, and intense lesson going on before me. And yes, I think I learned the reason, got the message, understood the lesson, whatever you want to call it. In addition, I also see where my mistake lied.
What did I learn?
It's in the times when everything is running smoothly, you're getting everything accomplished, God is blessing you in every single possible way, and you feel good - that you truly need to worry and be alert. In other words, WATCH IT.
That's the problem.
God wants to bless us beyond our wildest dreams, but it is up to us if we can handle it and live up to that level of "administration" of gifts. Does that make sense?
In difficult times, when there is adversity, we are drawn closer to God. But when everything is going great, yes, it's true, we neglect our relationship with the Giver of everything good because things are sooo nice. It just happened to me and I was not a very good fighter. Literally, BIG things going great in my life. Although I saw it happening, it was as if I couldn't do something about it... or just didn't react because I was lazy... I felt like I was slowly slipping away... I could see it and feel it. Because of my disconnection with God, one little thing caused me to slip, brought me down... and other things came tumbling down as my little rock at the top of the pyramid came falling down, all the way down, and bringing other things down along with it... Yes, it's called, "Still learning how to put God first above everything else" at age 27, knowing much, much better. Disappointed? Yes, in me. I even feel guilty for so many reasons. I know I can do better. So why don't I??? Aaaah! Self-analysis.
Yes, priorities matter.
I see it in a different way after today. In a greater, deeper way and I thank God for that.
I'm reminded of the life of David in the Bible... How he was this amazing guy that had a special relationship with The Lord, but messed up along the way. He was STILL a man from God, but the consequences of not being "connected" to God as he should have, were devastating.
What a lesson for me. I pray that never again do I mess up like that. I'm so thankful to God for being faithful, sovereign, and forgiving - no matter what, and for loving me with eternal love and grace like He does... Dios es bueno en todo tiempo. Thank you God for your forgiveness and comfort in times when I fall and you pick me up. Thank you. Thank you. Gracias con todo mi corazon.
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